Secrecy Around Unplanned Pregnancy

So we all hear so much about Hollywood's Adoptive Families

But what about the birthmoms who made their families possible?! In today's society, women face so much stigma over their reproductive choices. I was recently at a hair appointment, and my stylist said when she announced her pregnancy to her clients many asked her quite frankly whether she was considering adoption or abortion due to her young (25!) age and unwed status.

Working in social services, it is apparent that whether women choose adoption, abortion or parenting they are liable to be stigmatized. Planned Parenthood has reported recently that one in four women will have an abortion by the time they reach thirty. Yet, no one discusses the prevalence of this issue in society. Similarly, why is it so prominent and positive to be an adoptive family, but still so secretive and scary to be a birth family?

Making an adoption, abortion or parenting plan today more than ever before is about researching all options and making a plan. In the case of adoption, the birth families we work with interview their adoption agencies and adoptive families, research the level of openness they want in their adoption plan and place their child in a situation that meets or exceeds their expectations out of love for their child. Birth families should be given the respect they are due for making the hardest parenting decision any family could make, yet instead they are marginalized by society and taught to be ashamed of their selfless decision.

Do you know a woman who faced an unintended pregnancy? What were some reactions or stigmas you associated with her decision? If women felt less stigma discussing an unplanned pregnancy, maybe we would have no need for safe haven laws, or women forced into a decision they weren't ready for based on social standards and expectations.

Another 16 and Pregnant Star Loses their Child

The scary side of MTV's 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom

Our social workers at Choice Network have had alternating moments of love and hate towards the ultra popular MTV shows Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. On the one hand, any shows about unplanned pregnancy raise awareness about the issue. On the other hand, because of the glamor and appeal that surrounds the popular network station, many teenagers have a very unrealistic view of pregnancy and parenting.

In a 2010 court report, Amber Portwood, one of the stars of Teen Mom, revealed that she makes $280,000 per year from the show. While the show does not characterize her as wealthy, it is apparent she does not need to rely on employment, budgeting, or social services as the majority of teenagers in similar situations must. All of the Teen Moms are shown purchasing new cars, renting beautiful apartments, traveling and getting cosmetic surgery.

What is the reality about teen moms? According to stayteen.org:

-Only one-third of adolescent mothers will graduate high school, and only slightly over 1 percent of those will earn a college degree before they turn 30.

-Two-thirds of families begun by a young unmarried mother are poor. More than half of all mothers on welfare had their first child as a teenager.

-Daughters of teen moms are three times more likely to become teenage mothers themselves. The sons of teen moms are two times more likely to end up in prison.

-Eight out of ten fathers in cases of teen pregnancy don't marry the mother of their child, and these absent fathers pay less than $800 annually for child support.

-Children who live apart from their fathers are also five times more likely to be poverty striken than children with both parents at home.

The real teen moms of the world are less glamorous than MTV would have you believe.