"He said if the baby looks like him, he's the Dad. If he doesn't than he's not the Dad. I said think whatever you want." Claudia, 15
As Americans, we feel we live in one of the most advanced societies. We have a sophisticated form of government, we value personal rights and have a strong sense of social justice. We would never condone or accept the outright violation of human life that occurs through female infanticide- a stagnate trend in China and India. However, are we really more advanced when it comes to the rights of women and children in the face of an unplanned pregnancy?
Although our rates of infanticide are significantly smaller in America, we have a different, yet still insidious trend regarding unplanned pregnancies. In America, we have a culture of young adults whose only experience with sex education, prenatal care and child rearing revolves around what they learned through MTV's 16 and Pregnant. Young men are not taught or encouraged to parent and young girls are not taught the value of protecting themselves from an early unplanned pregnancy.
What is the result of these trends? In the United States in 2006, there was $4.6 billion in outstanding child support owed to women by men. As of 2011, 40% of single mothers in Illinois were reportedly living in poverty. According to the US Census, 23% of single mothers rely on one or more social welfare supports.
In a five year study which followed families experiencing a pregnancy that occurred out of wedlock, Kathryn Edin found that women and children are the most negatively impacted by these recent trends. Women, she found, are often forced into single parenthood once fathers fall out of the lives of their children. In her exhaustive study she finds single mothers are more likely to experience depression, use and abuse illegal substances and are less likely to be financially independent. In a study done by George Brown, these women are twice as likely as married women to experience depression and poverty.
In an interview with PBS, Edin states: "Now, it's not that the mother doesn't count on the father. She hopes and plans for him to be involved in her child's life, irrespective of whether he continues to be involved with her. But the way it works out, the couple has problems, the father drifts away; the woman ends up bearing the sole emotional and financial cost of the child. That, by the way, is a really bad deal for women."
Children are the second most impacted. In her studies, Edin found that single mothers are more likely, due to stress and frustration, to use punitive forms of discipline as punishment. This can result in aggression in children and is particularly prevalent in boys. Additionally, children in a single parent home were less cognitively advanced than other children being raised in a two parent home. In a study done by George Brown for the Cambridge Journal, single mothers were twice as likely to work full time, yet live in poverty than their married counterparts. What these studies show are that single mothers are able to spend less time parenting, while spending more time working- both of which seriously impact the lives of their children and themselves.
Yet the stigma of contraceptives, abortion and adoption still remain. American society maintains that "good women" struggle. Good women, our society posits, accept the total liability and responsibility for parenting unplanned pregnancies. Good mothers work two jobs, go to school part time and martyr themselves to produce future generations.
In a society where it is so easy for men to opt out of the parental role, it is important for women to get informed of their rights and understand that contraceptives, abortion and adoption, while not always the most natural decision, can still be great alternatives to an unexpected crisis.
Good mothers have abortions. Good mothers choose adoption. Good mothers know all their options and advocate for themselves.
