tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49638717153651235932024-02-06T23:34:42.799-05:00Choice NetworkChoice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-36725811277787865972013-09-04T15:48:00.004-04:002013-09-04T15:48:57.458-04:00Choice Network Photos of the Week<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9NKL0wKDVWLdcZS680lR-Fk7xqLN2iPZ-rQ5MZx24xwQxjAmWa9O0jSfYYbMR0eSeY26YvdlskqC-YIqBoGh4PWekMhhZr9BnL0UaxGU2RIgB-JVZQUU74UUZEIFe1EKP_T6aZRPGIyw/s1600/-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9NKL0wKDVWLdcZS680lR-Fk7xqLN2iPZ-rQ5MZx24xwQxjAmWa9O0jSfYYbMR0eSeY26YvdlskqC-YIqBoGh4PWekMhhZr9BnL0UaxGU2RIgB-JVZQUU74UUZEIFe1EKP_T6aZRPGIyw/s320/-1.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photos from the Journey 9/1/13</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-29294996542843363912013-09-04T15:35:00.000-04:002013-09-04T15:35:42.558-04:00Definitions of a Mother
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently during a continuing education training I was given
the task of introducing myself. I was up first so I spoke about my career, my
schooling, where I was currently living and why I was currently in the adoption
field. As the next person and then next began to introduce themselves they
began in a totally different way; “Well first, I’m a mother,” the woman next to
me chirped. “I’m a mother of two.” the woman next to her informed the crowd, and
so on. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the conversation went around the room people talked at
length about their children, stepchildren and grandchildren. They talked about
how becoming a parent was a defining role in their lives. They talked about
their children’s hobbies, interests, marriages, and social circles. I felt so
guilty that as the last volunteer finished their story I had to raise my hand and lamely state that I was also the mom to a one year old and stepmom to
an 8 year old.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The woman next to me and smiled and stated I probably forgot
to mention it because I was a new mom. As if once you are an “old mom” being a
mom would automatically define you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The comment sat with me for a minute. The last thing I would
consider myself is a new mom. Having step parented a very SPIRITED little boy
for the past 4 years, I’ve had experience with home work, packing lunches, discipline,
unconditional love and support, first days of school, mean friends, grandparent issues, field trips, budgeting for holidays, not to mention all the additional fun stuff
only step moms get to experience- entitlement issues, court dates, child finances and ON and ON and ON.
Having a biological child in the past year had made me no more experienced as a
mother. Nor did it or would it ever define my introduction of myself. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However it did make me feel guilty. Guilty that I could
forget to define myself as a mother and not one of the other five definitions I
used. The guilt reminded me of conversations had with birth moms I have worked with in the past.
Many of them have struggled with the questions “do you have children?” “Are you
a mom?” “How many children do you have?” Even just filling out simple medical
questionnaires to obtain a new doctor can become a stressful, judgmental
experience. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the social world we live in, being a parent is an
important experience. It is a club that means you understand, you have
experienced sleepless months, worried about your child’s happiness and
development, stressed over your child being bullied, put another human being’s
interests before your own and ultimately you have a deep understanding of
unconditional love. “you could not understand unless you are a parent” I have
heard that phrase often. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Researchers studying the teen mom epidemic have even
attributed teen pregnancy in impoverished areas with enhanced social statuses.
Several studies have found that women actually seek to become a mother, potentially before they are financially ready, to
elevate themselves socially. Once you are a mom, in some social circles, you
become a full fledged community member. (http://www.nber.org/papers/w17965)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So for a society obsessed with children, parenting and the
American home, where does that leave a mother like me who defines herself in
different ways? We are excellent, selfless, loving mothers, we may just define
ourselves instead as a great friend, painter or writer. I am a mother but also a student, friend, sister,
teacher and learner. All the other amazing things about me that I had described
in my introduction. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My guilt at not mentioning my sons showed me that there has
to be some subconscious stigma to childlessness or even worse, having the
biological capability to be a mom but then choosing a different definition for
yourself. At the training, I noticed that I immediately wanted to correct my
introduction and be initiated into the group as a mom and fellow parent. I also felt guilty, as if i loved my children <i>less</i> because they were not the first thought in my mind. I cannot imagine that this is true. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if it was ok that becoming a mother was only a small
piece of my story and I could expect to be received equally well whether I gave
myself that definition or not? What if I could expect to receive the same
respect and social status as the other parents if I mentioned that I had given birth to one child but was parenting two or vice versa. I think these would be are first steps towards removing the stigma our society has as a whole around parenting. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you like/dislike the blog or want to know how you can contribute your thoughts please contact katie@choicenetworkohio.com or joni@choicenetworkohio.com </div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-62944570678201219222013-03-28T16:59:00.001-04:002013-03-28T17:03:42.073-04:0010 Days and 10 Ways to Create a More Meaningful Life<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Times;
panose-1:2 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
</style><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome
back to the blog! We apologize for the short hiatus, however, today's post is
certainly timely. Today's topic is making time for what's important</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Prioritizing home,
school, work, children, and family life can be overwhelming. A lot of times we
are rushing around so much we forget to stop and enjoy a free afternoon or a
happy moment with family. Today’s topic is about pausing in the chaos to
welcome a moment that we would otherwise miss. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times;"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/buddha101052.html" title="view quote">Do not dwell in the past, do not
dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/buddha.html" title="view author">Buddha</a> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here are
five tips on how to be more mindful during times that matter. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5) Only
work at work. The Millenial Generation of workers are a group I’m proud to be
part of. We are modern, we are tech savvy, we are creative thinkers, we get the
job done. What we do terribly is keep a regular or reliable schedule. As part
of “getting the job done” we are notorious for answering emails at home,
preparing presentations on our ipads while waiting for the bus and closing big
work deals at 7:00 p.m. on Fridays. The New York Times called our generation the
most “stressed” generation in history and one can only wonder why. While we are
closing business deals what we are missing is enjoying our evenings with our
kids and families. The best worker is one who is recharged and ready to conquer
each day so think of your time away from your computer, ipad or iphone as an
investment in the next day's productivity and your own mental health.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4) Create
Boundaries- Similar to work boundaries, create boundaries with your family and
friends. My friends and I are all social workers and have the same typical
complaint. We always attract other people’s problems. Our favorite waiter
looked forward to my group coming in on a Friday because he knew he could lay
out his week and get support and feedback. My professor used to relay all her
complaints during quiet moments after class. Family members would cry to us
when they couldn’t pay their rent or had a bad break up. Stop being the only
support in a one sided relationship. With your time and mind free you can
reinvest in people who reciprocate your needs with theirs and support you
unconditionally. For more on these people check out the post on creating your
inner circle</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3) Build
Balance- Balance is not something that just occurs. Just like any challenge in
life it is something that is built with time and effort. You have to make time
for building balance, just as you make time for any other important chore or
task in your daily life. You can create balance through planning. Make a
mindful plan to carve out 15 minutes in the morning to eat a home made
breakfast instead of running through the drive through. Carve out 45 minutes in
the evening to take a walk with your children instead of watching an extra tv
show. Create a rule about “no cell phones” at the dinner table. Choose one small
technique a week and continue to build to increase balance at home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2) Ask
for help- Asking for help is a tough one. As someone who is used to doing it
all and helping others, what you need to realize is that everyone needs help
with something sometime. It is not a personal failure or a short coming. Asking
for help is actually a characteristic of the strong. Anything great was built
with team work- introduce this same concept into your daily life. When you ask
for help, what you will find is you have just carved out more time for you to
spend meaningfully.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1)
Listen- It is so hard to focus on a simple conversation when you have a
thousand other things on your mind. It’s so easy to zone out when your child
tells you about their day but LISTEN. Listen. Put your cell phone down, step
away from the television and listen to the important people in your life.
Before there were tvs in cars and texting in lieu of conversations, there were just conversations. Try that simple interaction for a moment and see if it brings you peace. </span></div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-67985236083286471522013-03-28T15:01:00.001-04:002013-03-28T15:03:37.872-04:00Photos of the Week<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8rFnwQfJI4WAgJA2o-RcQauHqcm0MtfFAjAFR2gJ68EoMZVXdR34Kpwuha7kUTbLKrteoVXoEAgKjSAnXiXHap27x4cPeMlDO8XvQd3Tilup6ohK1gHPxBL19oSkjxQKjArTyg4nbe59/s1600/-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8rFnwQfJI4WAgJA2o-RcQauHqcm0MtfFAjAFR2gJ68EoMZVXdR34Kpwuha7kUTbLKrteoVXoEAgKjSAnXiXHap27x4cPeMlDO8XvQd3Tilup6ohK1gHPxBL19oSkjxQKjArTyg4nbe59/s320/-3.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Choice Network Brothers! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR-WRPGp6gSHrTXBA6dsqu3I7W8N5sOKTQrkW1dAiwuYt18Nx-scou0QjosXrKlTyGXMwoqzP_ZNHiI_D4Y_KXqazTd-nVDJaISHyJMoNCmyBMUiFgaJLzXa8RZdzPUgYmzcLYef5pm9vH/s1600/-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR-WRPGp6gSHrTXBA6dsqu3I7W8N5sOKTQrkW1dAiwuYt18Nx-scou0QjosXrKlTyGXMwoqzP_ZNHiI_D4Y_KXqazTd-nVDJaISHyJMoNCmyBMUiFgaJLzXa8RZdzPUgYmzcLYef5pm9vH/s320/-5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Up, up and away to Florida!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE1L8LlLLODD_dlzOqdVdCY_1vc_3cui63vwmHKLjrtXAvAQE8rxPJG4pBLUouZNdvs0o09H6tsurN2Q-A8r86lz1gDrui5SgOZQl1f-qL1nytsMiR_flj_7Pf_TYpWrRi89IAP2JGecen/s1600/-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE1L8LlLLODD_dlzOqdVdCY_1vc_3cui63vwmHKLjrtXAvAQE8rxPJG4pBLUouZNdvs0o09H6tsurN2Q-A8r86lz1gDrui5SgOZQl1f-qL1nytsMiR_flj_7Pf_TYpWrRi89IAP2JGecen/s320/-6.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Philadelphia Center</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCpKBOeFcZ41SPtEMXfaLFUGFKqFrJkiblUEbQQa8mZa_SVOzMUjRWj5fhy7mLy83dy4dnQ5ZnSIN05wbkfvLB7Ie-g7C_-AGW9j4DhTzqPBSrHqKol3psWjQY3v1K1RYMROG41fQWnUJB/s1600/-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCpKBOeFcZ41SPtEMXfaLFUGFKqFrJkiblUEbQQa8mZa_SVOzMUjRWj5fhy7mLy83dy4dnQ5ZnSIN05wbkfvLB7Ie-g7C_-AGW9j4DhTzqPBSrHqKol3psWjQY3v1K1RYMROG41fQWnUJB/s320/-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Detroit Michigan Travels</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-41484917839216329622013-03-18T13:18:00.001-04:002013-03-28T15:29:45.317-04:0010 Ways in 10 Days to Live a More Meaningful Life- Creating Your Inner Circle<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
</style>Thank you for your patience with our weekend hiatus. Choice
Network staffers had a whirlwind week in Detroit, Philadelphia, Florida and
Columbus, which culminated in the birth of a new baby. Happy birthday to our
very special birth and adoptive families involved!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
Your mom may have told you growing
up “if you lay down with dogs you will get fleas,” and annoying as it is, the
saying bodes true and actually works in the opposite way as well. Although there
isn’t a cute phrase for it, if you surround yourself with the type of people
you aspire to be, you will adopt the same positive traits and empower yourself
in the process. Positive support networks have been linked to career and
financial advancement, mental and personal health and an overall well rounded
lifestyle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
This post was inspired as I was
recently speaking to a client who mentioned she had an “inner circle” of
support in her life. Her inner circle was composed of her longest term, most
hardcore friends. These were women she could always depend on to support her
during tough times and cheer with her during the great. As she began describing
the characteristics of each woman in her circle they had the same positive
traits she did; they were intelligent, ambitious and successful. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Sjwbqvhizrchyphenhyphen1QRPlA6chSnb7uLDzvip7cs1nOlz_QreL6wr009qA6iAqDBXkkfDDiKGyUQGXEVi-xD8GPHPHdlEYKDRgaZAB2aYcArXGthgnJe4nQqdBLlzQzPfeSZYxWowTBcRuOS/s1600/61689_1636337470841_1677880_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Sjwbqvhizrchyphenhyphen1QRPlA6chSnb7uLDzvip7cs1nOlz_QreL6wr009qA6iAqDBXkkfDDiKGyUQGXEVi-xD8GPHPHdlEYKDRgaZAB2aYcArXGthgnJe4nQqdBLlzQzPfeSZYxWowTBcRuOS/s320/61689_1636337470841_1677880_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Creating Your Inner Circle</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
This immediately made me think “what
if everyone had an inner circle?” So many times we see people susceptible to abuse
and exploitation because they are marginalized. They lack the key supports to
make themselves successful, and worse they may surround themselves with people
who are the opposite of who they want to be and those people, although good at
heart, bring them down instead of build them up. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
An inner circle can be created
organically or it can be made. When we train families we tell them adoption is
hard. Adoption can be painful. Adoption can be a long journey. We ask them to
find four support people to help them on this journey. What we did not realize
is we were actually asking them to build their own inner circle. Here’s who you
should have:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Realist</b>- The realist is the person in your life who has plenty of
life experience. He or she will tell you the truth whether it hurts or not.
They want the best for you but they will not sugar coat their advice. They can
be mistaken as; judgmental, opinionated, and argumentative. They can be;
empowering, life affirming, your biggest fan.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32qCDGBV6T0fVY02cW_-QtUkExkh-DBq30VuaH2ca_959qTnnRCPRq_oKxwQcR4CyGZHTHjiLNlMSbX-uJ0vuU92jt5l-Gmvayg244-Un17c0Et_LHVTIkqy2rw8j4cG_9ll57VoEzoUH/s1600/522617_10101904754867895_1563705600_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32qCDGBV6T0fVY02cW_-QtUkExkh-DBq30VuaH2ca_959qTnnRCPRq_oKxwQcR4CyGZHTHjiLNlMSbX-uJ0vuU92jt5l-Gmvayg244-Un17c0Et_LHVTIkqy2rw8j4cG_9ll57VoEzoUH/s320/522617_10101904754867895_1563705600_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My optimist is my wonderful husband and family</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Optimist- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>The optimist
is like your cheerleader of the group. Whatever you do, they will cheer
you on and find the positive to any bad situation. You can tell them anything
and know you will walk away feeling relieved and supported. They can be
mistaken as; too cheerful, disingenuous, not serious enough. They can be
valuable as; your closest confidante, a shoulder to cry on, your silver lining
to every gray situation</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw1ntP4kwnV8JxN91buymcZ9KmlmCeq3hggDDVO4uwF9R8MDfZV4PRfptwFtP1scV8wxNn4o8csLtVaAiPcOcvDHvwRKlPiwNsfPvttZI7viKWFVUoHjYgctfuctZTBzofxCZADqXakX5n/s1600/165645_10100384245101655_8352649_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw1ntP4kwnV8JxN91buymcZ9KmlmCeq3hggDDVO4uwF9R8MDfZV4PRfptwFtP1scV8wxNn4o8csLtVaAiPcOcvDHvwRKlPiwNsfPvttZI7viKWFVUoHjYgctfuctZTBzofxCZADqXakX5n/s320/165645_10100384245101655_8352649_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tam is a mama of five </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Roots- </b>This person anchors your life or group. She or he may be
the “parent” of your friends or they are actually your parent in life. This
person is someone who stabilizes you in choppy waters. They remind you of your
strengths and focus on your skills to overcome an obstacle. They remind you to
stay grounded whenever things feel overwhelming. They are often telling you
“don’t make a decision based on emotion” “look at the facts” “you are smart,
you can handle this.” They can be mistaken as; too cerebral, too bossy, too set
in their ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can be valuable as;
a constant source of support, your back up child/pet care when life gets crazy,
the person you can call in a crisis</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCAmrP-3E80pI63kcA95rJQ8vmMsY_Ifr64wHK4jb8r48kLVvCoSqbkXCJtB7joNCrcgbXVI6TFxuU5_MPvmTtRNHormZfLlebeYmFSsHWoT4wVDJXC5PLmvg9SG6l0xHyX0dI_ydoEFo/s1600/17_548371801475_159_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCAmrP-3E80pI63kcA95rJQ8vmMsY_Ifr64wHK4jb8r48kLVvCoSqbkXCJtB7joNCrcgbXVI6TFxuU5_MPvmTtRNHormZfLlebeYmFSsHWoT4wVDJXC5PLmvg9SG6l0xHyX0dI_ydoEFo/s320/17_548371801475_159_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Throwback Companions</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 99.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Companion</b>- This person is someone who understands you deeply.
They may have grown up with you or in a similar way. They have an understanding
and empathy for you that transcends new bonds or relationships. You can call or
text them any time about past memories and find peace in reliving old times.
They can be mistaken as; irrelevant, old friend, someone who grew in a
different direction than you. They can be valuable as; your link to your past,
a resource when the present is too stressful, someone who can empathize with
you<br />
<br />
Check back for more daily tips and affirmations </div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-37942446288600177012013-03-13T12:15:00.002-04:002013-03-13T12:20:27.514-04:0010 Ways in 10 Days Series- Day 3- Stress Relievers<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
Welcome to day three of our
series to live a more meaningful life. By now if you have been following the
series, you have forgiven your wayward mother in law and quit your job…no? Not
quite?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
Today we will be talking
about something much less life changing but life affirming all the same. We
will be discussing five things you can do in the week to significantly reduce
the stress in your life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
Stress is one of the biggest
contributors to burn out and living an unhappy life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even as you are enjoying a quiet moment, being
subconciously stressed can consistently undermine your peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
Here are five ways to lower
your blood pressure and have a more peaceful week: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
5.) Make your work and play
space enjoyable. Spend one hour per week organizing your physical workspace.
Living and working in a chaotic environment day in and day out may not feel
stressful, but your subconscious is picking up on the subtle stress. Spend one
hour Friday afternoon organizing your up coming week, cleaning out your old
worthless notes and deleting irrelevant files. Do this one hour spring cleaning
on your home or car as well. You will be surprised how comforting a clean work desk
is to come in to the following Monday morning</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1hd4rkr7fsQ5RQAn0kdhOViYWm59yjZOWSSpC2kXf474aXHVg4E6laqSuRSY0nJEd6r4qW2DKghnx0A6ZL7TbWkGLuqLoY6lcWPHwcpi0QmMmASHhnc6wdbz21stB3WI4pMkOAA1lyZPU/s1600/428093_10101543149852245_387456346_n.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1hd4rkr7fsQ5RQAn0kdhOViYWm59yjZOWSSpC2kXf474aXHVg4E6laqSuRSY0nJEd6r4qW2DKghnx0A6ZL7TbWkGLuqLoY6lcWPHwcpi0QmMmASHhnc6wdbz21stB3WI4pMkOAA1lyZPU/s320/428093_10101543149852245_387456346_n.jpg" width="301" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mentally check in to your peaceful place- this is mine</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
4.)
Practice balance in all
aspects of life. Too much of a good thing is still always…too much. Our
rule is
that when something new comes into your life, something old must leave
to
maintain balance. If you invested in yourself this week and got a new
pair Louboutins (jealous) take last season’s favorite pair and donate
them to
Goodwill or give to a friend. Make enjoyable things more enjoyable by
practicing them in moderation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
3.) Find a routine
you enjoy.
Many people say going to the gym can be cathartic, I am not this person.
However, I do acknowledge the benefit of a positive, stress relieving
routine.
Mine is turning out all the lights in the house and lighting candles.
One hour
of candlelit chores does something to help me re-focus and center
myself. Other
positive routines include going for a daily walk, talking with your
spouse,
gardening, cooking, meditating or visualizing yourself in a serene
positive space. Anything that feeds your soul and gives you peace for a
few
hours. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
2.) Remember a time you were
successful. Sometimes when stressful situations feel insurmountable it is
comforting to remember a time you overcame a struggle and reflect on the
personal tools you used to do so. Relive a successful moment- over and over and
over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remind yourself that you overcame
a stressful situation in the past and have the life experience to do it again.
One time when I was overwhelmed and at my wits end in my personal life I
complained to a social work friend. She asked me to assess the situation. I did
and still felt terrible. She asked me to reflect on something “hard” that I had
done well. After thinking for a moment I said I felt I was good in my career.
If I was great in my work she said, then I have the same tools to be great in
other areas of my life. She told me, that you cannot be great
in one area of life and terrible in another. The same skills I have at work are
ones I can use to simplify my personal life. Any skills that I have used to
successfully navigate stressful situations are skills that I can fine tune to
use to be successful in every aspect of my life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig6RvK7YoIq_tT3IXmWAwQo73QLLW5T5IPAs2QkqSeYt6uWDeFercgn2H6BcZ6WUv5FsA1wYKitYw_PQ5y1pyIg0Ne_bj_jmdhKYKqWlBxtyFIWBHygZVYmuJHmsZErPgd_U_am2b6mVIx/s1600/427023_10102072411602455_1712403227_n.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig6RvK7YoIq_tT3IXmWAwQo73QLLW5T5IPAs2QkqSeYt6uWDeFercgn2H6BcZ6WUv5FsA1wYKitYw_PQ5y1pyIg0Ne_bj_jmdhKYKqWlBxtyFIWBHygZVYmuJHmsZErPgd_U_am2b6mVIx/s320/427023_10102072411602455_1712403227_n.jpg" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grateful for long, sunny drives</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
1) Find daily moments to be
grateful as many times as you can. Make it a mental game- every time you would
otherwise complain think about the small moment in the otherwise frustrating situation
that can be positive or affirming. My son missed the bus today, this is
frustrating because now I may be late for work or have to rearrange my
schedule- BUT I get ten unstructured minutes in the car with an otherwise busy,
hard to pin down guy. I will make these ten minutes together worthwhile and
affirming. Make a conscious decision every day to find gratitude in mundane
situations and you will be impressed to see the subconscious stress dissipate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: center 3.0in;">
Do you have any tips or
tricks we didn’t cover? Please post to our comments section or email to
joni@choicenetworkohio.com </div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-12014340684992190292013-03-12T09:47:00.002-04:002013-03-12T09:48:14.144-04:0010 Days in 10 Ways- Day 2- Investing in YourselfWelcome to our second tip for living a meaningful life.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today’s edition, invest in yourself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At Choice Network, we have the fortune of working with some
of the most ambitious families and birth parents in the world. Both adopting
and placing a child for adoption takes enormous consideration and forethought.
Both of these attributes also take investment and passion to cultivate. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are some tips on how to invest in your dreams</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Invest in a job you
love.</b> Studies have recently emerged stating that when people are in jobs
they dislike they are more likely to become sick, suffer from exhaustion,
stress and burn out. Consider the fact that you are at work 40-80 hours a week
and it’s obvious why an investment in the right career is an investment in your
own mental health. If you are struggling to find the right career path try
volunteering, returning to your school academic advisor or reaching out to
mentors or other people you look up to in careers they are passionate about. The best job advice is to find something you would do for free and then get paid for it!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Invest in a social
group- </b>By nature, humans are a highly socialized society. Researchers have
recently reported that in addition to levels of happiness and fulfillment,
being social can also makes us more intelligent, increase our self esteem and
give us a strong feeling of belonging. Research aside what does an investment
in others do for you? One, it creates a core support group. A core support
group is the best thing to have when you have a rough day, need emergency child
care or have another bump or life crisis that momentarily rocks your world.
Two, having a core support group exposes you to new opportunities and ideas. Valuable networks when you are living your life meaningfully. Before we approve a home study for a family we require them to join three adoption or kids related community support groups. Some of our favorite social group suggestions are; church, life support groups
(like adoptive moms, birth moms etc,) gyms, social clubs and hobby related groups. Check out your local YMCA or Meetup.com for more ideas on how to build your own community network</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Invest in yourself- </b>The
best thing you can do for yourself is to put the money, time and effort into
being the best person you can be. It is often said you cannot be a good
partner, parent or child if you aren’t first the best version of yourself, and
this has proven to be so true. In a recent study, the Ohio State University
noted that under classmen reportedly wanted self esteem over sex, money,
alcohol and even friendship. In short, what you invest in yourself with regard
to schooling, building good credit, and a strong and positive persona to the world
matters. It matters a lot it seems. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Check out Creating Intentions to learn how you can invest
more in making the world around you harmonious and peaceful: http://creatingintentions9.com/</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-49843725734303562852013-03-12T09:29:00.002-04:002013-03-28T15:47:43.597-04:00Gia's Tips on Bringing Home a New Baby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPFQD-MOaZbByp8HReJoVZ8fHwj7wFUbcPpg4GlnrvRW35wSwJwNRX_Ybjivs5uux9KXDrcZpS04JPelBV3hhFdjks17jhe28gdXjKwakF2RYgzeWVaT_DV2uZRsldf1QWhyphenhyphen1j189hW5yI/s1600/pin2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPFQD-MOaZbByp8HReJoVZ8fHwj7wFUbcPpg4GlnrvRW35wSwJwNRX_Ybjivs5uux9KXDrcZpS04JPelBV3hhFdjks17jhe28gdXjKwakF2RYgzeWVaT_DV2uZRsldf1QWhyphenhyphen1j189hW5yI/s320/pin2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihgU7X7zWjuRSulDSxs-Rnpq7v17UFiQUvP38ingFsTEibHsoROejzx3rt6s8N5FRsuaH4zEh4yjTzB0uumtLdgIvePDU23xjpeNZH1Wppr2tirZzQHcdDd0ndKnA7f85s1_cOrtPGI-ln/s1600/Pin1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<br />
I have a lot of experience being the coolest older sister, as such, I have a few tips on how to prepare your home for a little sibling.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDft4noalXvH9OrvkcUIWoP_NMUWHUhORm2xyrKQMKM6UuZ1ZpPCypII5Ysv0rMYi8f0VXPpVvboeTBmts9K4lcxDN4_kgi8S5fewZlydbIjimkELFDC8jjasfEHcFZiPf39Q6x1a_8nKK/s1600/60584_464425505663_4676069_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDft4noalXvH9OrvkcUIWoP_NMUWHUhORm2xyrKQMKM6UuZ1ZpPCypII5Ysv0rMYi8f0VXPpVvboeTBmts9K4lcxDN4_kgi8S5fewZlydbIjimkELFDC8jjasfEHcFZiPf39Q6x1a_8nKK/s320/60584_464425505663_4676069_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gia's Tips</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5) Get a BIG SISTER BOOK for your older child. My parents
got me “New Baby” by Mercer Mayer. I also like “Babies Don’t Eat Pizza” by
Debbie Tilley and “I’m a Big Brother” by Joanna Cole</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) If you have pets, bring a baby blanket home early from
the hospital. My Mom and Dad brought home one of the blankets they used to
snuggle with Louie in the hospital before he came home and placed it on the
ground for our dog, Madden to get used to the smells. It helped him to adjust
before our baby brother came home</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) Let me help! I’d love to help stack diapers, hold the
baby, and learn to be gentle with the baby. This lets me know I am important
and still your first baby!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) Give me my own big sister gift. The baby is getting an
awful lot of stuff that is too small to share…I’d like to remind you that I
also like bows, headbands and fancy shoes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) Answer my questions!! Why do babies sleep all the time?
Why do they poop so much? Why do they only eat milk? No really, why? </div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-91082775038602671742013-03-11T16:30:00.000-04:002013-04-16T13:51:02.829-04:00Carter’s New Baby Must Buys <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFtxd101c2SAW3JutK5zkz0g6wrDIAQtLmnDymEyGrv6vC_g9Bpde-ePEpiKDqOAE3OAWEpk0htY_2UvTIhFjpalS0i6Le_ztekCwTsPkbxMWeEAgQK5-iVFxKGhSK9-ng61_FEKeo2NwE/s1600/Pin3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dua="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFtxd101c2SAW3JutK5zkz0g6wrDIAQtLmnDymEyGrv6vC_g9Bpde-ePEpiKDqOAE3OAWEpk0htY_2UvTIhFjpalS0i6Le_ztekCwTsPkbxMWeEAgQK5-iVFxKGhSK9-ng61_FEKeo2NwE/s320/Pin3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
0-3 Month Picks<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfaYK5P4IWoFXc_DyDgqEIXhsGA0eUToJrRIutPLwcEjVRYQEk0aVoQZ-o8q-jnj1KhfFXTST48ehhgeqlcygKpt20RphUhlvQaPZaQ3hnqZdeodb5D5PQtDlsMrA6OcmILxole0lsp-nY/s1600/-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfaYK5P4IWoFXc_DyDgqEIXhsGA0eUToJrRIutPLwcEjVRYQEk0aVoQZ-o8q-jnj1KhfFXTST48ehhgeqlcygKpt20RphUhlvQaPZaQ3hnqZdeodb5D5PQtDlsMrA6OcmILxole0lsp-nY/s1600/-1.png" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me at 3 months with my Best G</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
5) Swaddles. Ok I admit it, I am not one of those easy kind of babies who sleeps through dinners out and only cries when he’s hungry. I have a lot to see and do every day so being rocked to sleep is punishment. Sleep is punishment. Swaddles hold down my arms and legs so I can’t knock the bink out or scare myself with my moro reflex. Important things. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) Sophie the Giraffe. Sophie is hands down my favorite toy. She is easy to hold and gum and the absolute best part is she squeaks. I don’t know why this is the best part, but believe me it is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) Sound Machine- I love the Cloud B Giraffe…Like big love. The awesome thing about sound machines is they give me a sleep routine. At least that’s what my mom thinks. The sound machine comes on and it makes me want to rub my eyes and yawn. Kinda annoying actually</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rfoBG5tRkB8vKx7IRd-amlLhSbsURT5LzAn2DIC3DaOg_PEkxg9Imb4lPQpBvUgYNKBLwX9_El-e_Vsi2K6amMQIAneUKeeAE7MIivbIasrTxVP5QQrRVkhmlcpnCsWh5HYiRgODFA7y/s1600/-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rfoBG5tRkB8vKx7IRd-amlLhSbsURT5LzAn2DIC3DaOg_PEkxg9Imb4lPQpBvUgYNKBLwX9_El-e_Vsi2K6amMQIAneUKeeAE7MIivbIasrTxVP5QQrRVkhmlcpnCsWh5HYiRgODFA7y/s1600/-2.png" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't sleep much, but when I do it's because of Cloud B</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
2) Bink/Paci/Foofie- whatever you call it, I like it. My mom also says it reduces SIDs<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>which I guess is a good thing. Some binks also improve oral development as well as help create excess saliva which have natural antacid properties to help with spit up. Yuck.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) Hats and Accessories. Duh. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSlXRzxREzwLTn3OwNMnRGvrjgVoGLw2fMq9jgvkaUeuNdqcRTAf4_G8fwS60uT93_soY-VZiQ_DEEVB6dn2jzAFv8JjF_IDYyOlV93xAewb_w6okZPeXKrq-BsaPhB0DaKsLno8jaxjYL/s1600/47295_10102432367817315_1948419560_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSlXRzxREzwLTn3OwNMnRGvrjgVoGLw2fMq9jgvkaUeuNdqcRTAf4_G8fwS60uT93_soY-VZiQ_DEEVB6dn2jzAFv8JjF_IDYyOlV93xAewb_w6okZPeXKrq-BsaPhB0DaKsLno8jaxjYL/s1600/47295_10102432367817315_1948419560_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Accessories duh.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-32376407487246607362013-03-11T16:05:00.002-04:002013-04-16T14:09:04.200-04:00<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifx5ap1M_GhoupBQIm4Hnx1zAHW-TelDtrvf5rbVfQMMF9rN_33lalqZwDjMM5V9yDIrZYkrvCL6w6g_0vGK5oinlPWJL2vkS8IR7H8szMZVuVs4bUBDb7bGg7JDTL2GeXjAqmksGksyLI/s1600/Pin4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dua="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifx5ap1M_GhoupBQIm4Hnx1zAHW-TelDtrvf5rbVfQMMF9rN_33lalqZwDjMM5V9yDIrZYkrvCL6w6g_0vGK5oinlPWJL2vkS8IR7H8szMZVuVs4bUBDb7bGg7JDTL2GeXjAqmksGksyLI/s320/Pin4.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Gia’s Top 5 Adoption Stories for Chosen Kids and Their Birth and Adoptive Families<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5) Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born- Jamie Lee Curtis</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) I Wished for You- Marianne Richmond</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) A Blessing from Above- Patti Henderson</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) We Belong Together- Todd Parr</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) Wherever You Are my Love Will Find You- Nancy Tillman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ70pGNYw_7ed6O8UZnERuXw87Z6x4nHvMktbUyJIWg2iSBNIxhueq3dcIt9gJnRPCnO06FaLU7oFgZw4jPXe5QfzBMMalXsYjeGjcFYUl2Q4mmCR0GkOPp_8MwyN-J4z8R7p3SEaQrUig/s1600/545912_10150970403475664_1273021690_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ70pGNYw_7ed6O8UZnERuXw87Z6x4nHvMktbUyJIWg2iSBNIxhueq3dcIt9gJnRPCnO06FaLU7oFgZw4jPXe5QfzBMMalXsYjeGjcFYUl2Q4mmCR0GkOPp_8MwyN-J4z8R7p3SEaQrUig/s1600/545912_10150970403475664_1273021690_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Gia on the left and her biological sister making edits to the blog)</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-79352188012647333132013-03-11T15:07:00.001-04:002013-03-11T15:07:39.354-04:0010 ways in 10 days to Live a More Meaningful Life- Forgiving and Accepting <style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">At Choice Network one of our goals this year is to have a holistic approach to training and supporting families. I cannot tell you how many times I left a family’s home after a training or an audit, thinking that the family I had just met with had inadvertently given me a bit of wisdom that I could pass on in my own home. A small bit of peace. A tiny piece of introspection.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From our holistic approach, we decided to create a series of blog posts on self improvement. For the first of the series, we will discuss living life peacefully and meaningfully through forgiveness. Although peace can be defined in a variety of ways, for our purposes we will define peace as living happily, in harmony and in a positive manner. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A social worker I used to work with often said; “happiness is not dependent on whether the sun is shining or it is raining outside, happiness is something you create from within.” Similarly Constellation Therapy would say peace is a feeling you build- like a house. Peace, Gestalt therapists would further say, comes from unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. From these principles we broke down a few tips for achieving this: </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Peace through Forgiveness</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">- Although this can often be the hardest thing to do, forgiving someone who wronged you, a negative life circumstance or an unfortunate experience is a great way to achieve peace. Forgiving yourself and others is ultimately a freeing act for the forgiver. When you forgive, you automatically give yourself the power to accept a situation and move forward with new wisdom. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Forgiving yourself</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">- forgiving yourself means that you accept that you made the best decision you could with the limited resources you had at the time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is so easy to analyze situations and recreate scenarios where an outcome could have been different but the truth is time can only move forward. Forgiving yourself and embracing your life experience means that you will not use the experience as a crutch for why you cannot live your best life and instead will use it as a beneficial experience. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Forgiving others</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">- have you ever heard the saying “resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die?” This sentiment is true also for forgiveness. Forgiving others means that you accept that sometimes people do not have the skills, sense, or thoughtfulness to avoid hurting others. There are times in life when you will come across people who cannot or will not apologize for their negative actions. What’s worse is these people can often be defensive or seemingly unfazed by the negativity their actions cause. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was counseling a husband and wife once on a negative family member who continuously became involved in their lives. Although the family had set appropriate boundaries and limited negative interactions, their frustration peaked when the family member sued them in court for time with their children. The family members were sick with anger and frustration at having to lose work time, provide child care for their children to go to court and rearrange their lives to deal with this family member, who clearly could not respect boundaries. The anger was eating them alive. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Instead of forgiving the family member for their misguided attempt to be wanted, they turned inwardly. They blamed each other for the misfortune and their lives began to revolve around the rogue family member’s actions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hatred became a cancer that ate and decayed their marriage. When they were able to forgive and accept was when they were able to sleep at night</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You will not often receive a bouquet of flowers or tears of apology from someone who has wronged you. The good news is, you do not need that to forgive them. Forgiveness, fortunately, comes from inside. What the above family did was set a date on their calendars. After a specific date they were done speaking in anger about this particular family member. Instead of anger, they felt compassion and empathy. It was a simple moment of clarity to learn that this person was flawed in their own way but the former methods of banishing and ignoring were not effective and in fact were destructive. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Acceptance</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">- In constellation therapy we ask ourselves- who is the person acting out the most? Go to that person and include them, if not physically, then spiritually. To accept and forgive is to spiritually tell yourself that you will take anything good that person gave you physically, emotionally or spiritually and leave all the bad. In this case the family member gave the family a recipe they loved. Every time they made the recipe they reflected on positive times. Any time the family member did something negative they brought themselves back to the mantra that they are only accepting the good and not taking on the burden of the bad- they could leave that burden with the wayward family member. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Without the ability to forgive another person, we are silently injuring ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anger seeps into every part of our lives. Studies have even been done to show when we are angry subtle physical changes occur such as raised blood pressure levels, and stomach issues- our bodies physiologically remain in fight or flight mode all day and night. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another down side is, when we are labeling ourselves as a victim we silently give ourselves permission to live below our own expectations. We allow ourselves to eat poorly because we are stressed, fight with our spouse because we are anxious and raise our voices to our children because we are consumed with angry feelings.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Having the ability and power to forgive is a foundation for living a beautiful, fulfilled life. As Gandhi once said: </span><span class="userContent"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="userContent">"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." Gandhi</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Look out for Post 2 of our 10 post series on Living a More Meaningful Life</span></div>Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-62811827509845783712013-02-05T12:53:00.000-05:002013-02-05T13:30:02.882-05:00February SpotlightHappy February to everyone! It is amazing how quickly this chilly (to say the least) month went by! If you follow us on Facebook you will have seen what an incredibly busy month we have had, and in case you don't, we are proud to announce that with 4 placements (all in the third week of January) we have hit an all time agency record! Such an achievement would not be possible without the selfless choices of the birth mothers, the open hearts of the adoptive families, and the tireless work of the staff of Choice Network. This brings us to our February spotlight, Joni Ogle!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhieBxZNJZcSXh-3b7xgJ9v2tnWmn-caSkkyL6BMyNI9yOx0ezB9pPbBGXjzATnGGt3NtVY8HPESel4iYbvtQihpcw_LMZc9IPJkEzAJZiLBl63uCOUTWu7qwZcUsKOcCDdYVQI8-ER5tFY/s1600/molly+joni.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhieBxZNJZcSXh-3b7xgJ9v2tnWmn-caSkkyL6BMyNI9yOx0ezB9pPbBGXjzATnGGt3NtVY8HPESel4iYbvtQihpcw_LMZc9IPJkEzAJZiLBl63uCOUTWu7qwZcUsKOcCDdYVQI8-ER5tFY/s320/molly+joni.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I love that I can have the freedom and time to spend with a family as
their experience and understanding of adoption grows and changes and I
love being able to advocate for a family in order to watch their dream
of expanding their family come true." - Joni </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Joni has been with Choice Network since the beginning and her dedication and reliability to the women and families she serves has never waned. Joni has consistently been a source of support, understanding and resource to everyone she encounters, even going so far as to work full time up until 2 days before delivering her son Carter Matthew on November 2, 2012. We want to honor Joni for all of the work she has and continues to do, especially in this, her first month back to work since maternity leave, and she didn't miss a step coming back. So cheers to Joni and all of the invaluable work that she does! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Do you have a story about some of the great work that Joni has done? Tell us about it on our Facebook page or email it to us at <a href="mailto:choicenetworkohio@gmail.com">choicenetworkohio@gmail.com</a>!<br />
<br />
<br />Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-36884475549724745072013-01-07T10:37:00.000-05:002013-01-09T12:03:43.008-05:00January Spotlght Happy New Year to all of our Choice Networks supporters! We have had
such an incredible last few months meeting with new clinics excited to
offer our services on site, new families ready to begin their adoption
journey, and new expectant women who are making the choice of adoption! Because of all of the great successes we had in 2012 thanks to the many partnerships we have cultivated, we would like to start a new tradition going into 2013 of highlighting members of the Choice Network family that have gone above and beyond our expectations to bringing a true choice to women. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9YEyt6Nc-tn3jyJ55lXQ6s8WgJmyVDJj5_J3Lp4Y9g9fXtsqpJzNwY4_aoyefEKq6_uuWbLZqmkvi0v3XT8T2PgrtLZ7QIlT_BWgpekyTt_lWAyACjfCcSoORvICPedWS8HYlAh6DeSIX/s1600/molly,+amanda,+jennifer.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9YEyt6Nc-tn3jyJ55lXQ6s8WgJmyVDJj5_J3Lp4Y9g9fXtsqpJzNwY4_aoyefEKq6_uuWbLZqmkvi0v3XT8T2PgrtLZ7QIlT_BWgpekyTt_lWAyACjfCcSoORvICPedWS8HYlAh6DeSIX/s320/molly,+amanda,+jennifer.jpg" width="214" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Molly with Amanda and Jennifer</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In
late December we had the pleasure of meeting with Amanda and Jennifer. Although Choice Network has been working with these women for a while
now, this was a great opportunity for us to get to see all of the amazing staff and the hard work they do. These women work tirelessly to provide services, counseling, and choice to women experiencing unexpected pregnancy.<br />
<br />
This month we have chosen to shine our blog spotlight on Jennifer. She has worked (what seems around the clock) assisting women as the Bilingual Senior Counselor for nearly two years. Each time we have met with Jennifer we are greeted with a warm smile and a confident answer to any question. Jennifer has a wonderful approach with the women she serves. Often times while speaking to women that she has referred to us, they take a moment to speak her praises. The hard work she does, the many referrals she sends our way, and the lasting impression she leaves on clientele and coworkers alike are a true testament to the type of person she is. This is why Jennifer has been selected for the first Choice Network Spotlight for 2013!<br />
<br />
We
appreciate both of these women and the way in which they are spreading the word
and work of Choice Network, which is why we
wanted to take a moment introduce them to all of you, our blog followers.<br />
<br />
If you have any questions for these ladies, please feel free to
email us your questions at choicenetworkohio@gmail.com.<br />
<br />
Wishing everyone the happiest 2013!Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-86573679333359207592012-10-15T13:03:00.001-04:002012-10-15T13:07:36.361-04:00The Hardest Choice<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Abortion rights advocates have been de-stigmatizing abortion
for 200 of the past 4000 years the procedure has been available. In the
beginning of history abortion was a widely sought after procedure, normalized
in society and readily available for women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.
It was not until the late 1800s that abortion began to be regulated,
criminalized and policed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Today, statistics will tell us that half a million abortions
occur per year. These procedures are done in the safety of private, certified
medical facilities by practicing physicians. Abortion as a civil right has been
attacked so viciously in the past 200 years that coalitions have been created
to defend the rights of women who have chosen or are choosing elective
abortions. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Campaigns such as “1 in 3,” “Stop the War on Women” and
“March for Women’s Lives,” have incited action and factions of women and men
motivated to advocate for abortion rights. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">In the mean time the history of adoption has been less guided
as a reproductive right for women and more as a social welfare issue. The focus
for the government and the populace has always on the product of the pregnancy;
the child- not the families making the decision to place the child. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">In the early 1900s the eugenics movement was in full force
in Europe and the United States. Infants available for adoption were seen as having
poor prospects in life as they came from “poor genetic endowment,” due to the
fact they came from unwed or abandoned birth mothers according to the
literature of the time. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Henry Herbert Goddard began a popular movement at the same
time in America in which he “proved” criminality and immorality were
genetically inherited. Available, adoptable infants were subsequently placed in
group homes, and eventually institutionalized instead of being placed with
loving available families. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">A few wealthy philanthropic women of the time however felt
differently about these women and infants. In 1910 the first private child
placing agencies were being developed by women interested in finding homes for
infants with childless families. Louise Waterman Wise, one of the founding
women of the movement wrote at the time: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>“</i><i>It is a very serious matter for the
state and society to insist that a child shall remain with its natural mother
merely because of its birth and that it shall be denied a thousand
opportunities which adoption under the new order of life brings.” </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Adoption as a social movement was on the rise!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Today, however, adoption agencies are reporting that
adoptions have decreased in 2012 by 50%. Older, established independent child
placing agencies are closing and statistics tell us only 125,000 women per year
actually end up choosing to place their child through a court process with a
family different from their own. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">How, in a century, did we go from waiting infants, to
waiting families? The 1973 ruling of Roe vs Wade legislation certainly made
adoption a less necessary social service. You can imagine considering the
stigma and negativity surrounding unplanned pregnancy why women would opt to
have a safe, legal, private procedure in the comfort of their doctor’s office
versus facing the scrutiny and stigma of not only carrying an unplanned
pregnancy but also telling people the pregnancy would result in adoption.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">When our culture has come from a century of negativity
around birth parents, going so far as to suggest their genetics were
“unfavorable” why or how could a modern woman possibly make the choice to place
her pregnancy for adoption?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">On TV we see Caitlyn and Tyler, two young teens featured on
a popular MTV docudrama, struggling to process their adoption with the daughter
they placed. Their episodes are filled with tears and emotional discussions
reliving the day of placement. Society has told us if you choose not to parent
a child you should be sufficiently devastated. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">On a similar token, we see decades of legislation to
restrict women’s access to abortion. When women are denied abortion they are
given two stark choices; parenting or adoption. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">One option leaves the responsibility of raising a child she
may not be able to responsibly raise squarely on her shoulders. The other
option we have been taught to see as the weaker, less favorable option. This
belief goes all the way back to the eugenics movement discussed earlier in this
post. What woman could possibly find herself in this position and how could she
be able to make this choice? She is either pitied, counseled, or shunned even
by our modern society. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Today, women still make 82% of what men in similar positions
earn. Women who earn only a high school degree typically earn around $2000 per
month before taxes, whereas women with bachelor’s and master’s degrees
typically earn between $3800-4400 per month. Women with children spend approximately
40% more time out of the workforce than men, providing care to children. This
factor can also be economically devastating to a single mother, especially one
making minimum wages with inflexible hourly employment. Women who are asked or
forced by society to parent a child before they are prepared are at a
disadvantage time after time when it comes to economic advancement. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The abortion movement proves that women have been making
hard decisions about their personal futures for 4000 years. When will our
society and community be able to accept adoption as a hard but important
decision unprepared families may sometimes need to make. </span></div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-49389883200301817032012-09-07T14:26:00.002-04:002012-09-10T12:09:46.897-04:00Gotcha Day!<br />
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
If you have known anyone who has gone through the process of adopting, or have done it yourself, then you are well aware of what an exciting, scary, and amazing journey adopting truly is. In the adoption world one of the most celebrated days in this journey is referred to as the "Gotcha Day." This day signifies the beginning of the lifelong journey between parents and children. We want to share with everyone the "Gotcha Day" story of Lynn and Nate, an amazing couple that has been documenting their incredible adoption story since the beginning. Be sure to check out the link to their blog for a more in-depth look into their story and for current updates on their family adventures!</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
And please let us know if you have a "Gotcha Day" story that you would like highlighted on our blog by emailing it to us at choicenetworkohio@gmail.com !</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/HuRMWYik1KI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
http://fullofinsanity.blogspot.com/</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-9868746933507113192012-08-29T10:18:00.000-04:002012-09-10T12:09:56.638-04:00One Mother's Story<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Becoming a parent is an exciting, terrifying and unpredictable time in anyone's life. Whether you are a birth parent or adoptive there are two universal truths: 1) A lot of well meaning people will give you a lot of good intentioned advice, and 2) No two stories are alike. The following is one woman's story of her journey into parenthood and becoming a mom:</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
The first time I met my daughter, Madison, she wasn’t mine yet and I
wasn’t sure she would ever be. I stared into her solemn face and looked
shyly at her mother, Jessica. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
“Can I pick her up?” I asked. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
“Of course,” she said proudly. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
There
was nothing about her that was familiar — not her round face, her tuft
of hair, the heft of her body. When I gazed at her, I felt enormous
tenderness and the quiet stirring of potential love, but I didn’t know
her. And I was afraid to look too closely because I knew that, just as I
had felt the shift and click of my son’s life falling into place after
his birth seven years before, so Jessica was coming to know Madison. All
those months, she had thought she was carrying just any baby when all
along it was Madison. She was saying to her daughter what I had said to
my son: “Oh, it was you!” </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Adoption social workers say that every
woman needs to say hello to her baby before she can know if she can say
goodbye. But I wanted to say hello to Madison, too. I wanted to let
myself fall in love with her. I wanted to unwrap her and examine each
little limb, bury my face in her neck, let my fingers trail across her
features. But she wasn’t mine. I grieved her even as I knew she wasn’t
mine to grieve. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Three days after Madison’s birth I watched my
husband buckle her into the car seat, and then I climbed into the back
seat beside her. I thought about Jessica, who we’d left sobbing in the
maternity ward. I knew her arms were aching for her daughter, the
daughter that was now ours. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
“She’s beautiful,” I said to my
husband. He glanced into the rearview mirror. “I know,” he said. We sped
through the gray morning, heading home. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
“I feel like a kidnapper,” I told him. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
“I know,” he said. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: xx-small;">- – - – - – - – - – - -</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
My
husband and I came to open adoption filled with hopeful naiveté. We
tried for several years (and several miscarriages) to have a second
child, but when our infertility doctor said we might need more extensive
treatment, we decided to walk away. A few months later, we began to
explore adoption. Foster-to-adopt, we decided, would be too emotionally
risky for ourselves and, more importantly, for our then 6-year-old son.
International adoption was too expensive. But when we found domestic
infant adoption through a local nonprofit agency, we realized that we
had found our way to be parents again. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
We
knew that our adoption would be at least semi-open. We would be sharing
our vital statistics — first names, ages, religion, as well as
carefully chosen pictures — with birth mothers, as per the agency’s
requirements. But we wanted more. We wanted a fully open adoption with
an ongoing relationship and continuing contact. We wanted holiday
visits, regular phone calls and even — dare we hope — contact with the
extended birth family. We felt our baby-to-be would benefit from knowing
his or her origins; we considered it a birthright. We also strongly
believed birth parents were due some kind of relationship with their
children and with their children’s adoptive parents — if they wanted
one. <br />
We weathered the fear-mongering tales of well-intentioned
friends and acquaintances, people who had watched nightly news stories
of toddlers snatched by their birth parents from adoptive families who
had cared for them since birth. We listened as they wondered aloud what
kind of woman would have the strength to walk away from her baby and
then come back for occasional visits. “What if she kidnaps the baby?”
they’d say. “What if she treats you like babysitters?” <br />
Other
adoptive parents we knew chose to go abroad in part because they were
alarmed by the trend toward increasing openness in domestic infant
adoptions. “Won’t you feel jealous?” they’d ask. “Won’t it confuse the
child? What if your child likes her more than she likes you?” <br />
I
dismissed their concerns with all of the blind optimism of someone who
had waited through four years of infertility for a baby and now finally
thought she might get one. “Don’t be surprised if you get placed
quickly,” our social worker told us. “Most adoptive parents aren’t ready
to be that open, and it’s something a lot of birth mothers look for.” <br />
Our
agency asked that each hopeful adoptive family put together what they
called a profile and other adoption professionals sometimes call a “Dear
Birth Mom” letter. (The reason they call it a profile, our agency
explained, is that a pregnant woman considering adoption is not a birth
mother; she is an expectant mother and should be respected as such.)
When a woman came to the agency saying she was considering placing her
child for adoption, they gathered at least five profiles to share with
her. The profiles were pulled on the basis of any requirements that she
might have. If a potential birth mother said she wanted an adoptive
family where one parent was a teacher, only the teacher profiles would
be pulled. If none of the profiles appealed to the woman, she could ask
for more. <br />
The profile contained information about us, about our
path to adoption and our intentions as adoptive parents. And the
profiles are usually printed out on pretty paper. <br />
“Pretty paper?” I asked Denise, our social worker, when she gave us the instructions. <br />
“It matters,” she said. “You’d be surprised.” <br />
It
was a lot of pressure to take to the stationery store. My son and I
spent a long time analyzing our choices. I rejected the pastel baby feet
as too pushy, the blue sky and clouds as too ethereal. I finally
decided on white with a tasteful abstract green border. We made a dozen
copies and dropped them off at the agency. <br />
While our agency
allowed “matches” as early as the seventh month, they stressed to us
that a match was nothing more than a woman expressing her right to
consider an adoption plan. It was not the promise of a baby, it was not a
guarantee that we would be parents again. <br />
“There is always a 50
percent chance that a woman who chooses you will change her mind,”
Denise made clear. “A real baby changes things and no matter how sure
she is while she’s pregnant, she will need to make that decision again
once she has the baby.” It was a common refrain from the agency during
our wait: “Guard your heart,” they told us. “The baby isn’t yours until
the papers are signed.” <br />
Seven months after completing our
adoption homestudy, our social worker called. “There’s a woman who seems
like a good fit for you, and we would like to share your profile with
her.” <br />
Jessica was 19, they told us, and African-American. The
birth father, who was choosing not to be involved, was white, like us.
The baby was healthy — Jessica’s prenatal care had been good. “And it
says here what she’s having,” Denise added. “Do you want to know?” <br />
We did. A girl, she told us, due April 4. A week later we got another call. Jessica wanted to meet with us. <br />
Our
agency facilitated our first meeting at a downtown restaurant. Jessica
brought three of her closest friends, and we all sat across from each
other fidgeting awkwardly. Jessica was polite, guarded but not shy, and
greeted us with sonogram pictures of the baby she was carrying. She was
due in two months and feeling good. <br />
I liked Jessica right away. I
liked her confidence and sense of humor. I liked her wide smile. And I
liked how direct she was with us. “I’m going to name the baby Madison,”
she told us. “You can change it later but that’s the name I’m going to
give her.” <br />
When it was time to go we exchanged phone numbers and
last names. Over the next few weeks she and I talked regularly — not
just about Madison but about other things, too. Politics, music,
Jessica’s plans to travel and go to school. One day I hung up the phone
after a particularly long conversation and told my husband, “If she
decides not to place Madison, she’ll be a good mother.” <br />
We talked
about the adoption, too, about what her plans were and why she chose us
to be part of it. Those reasons are complex and not ones I feel I can
share here. <br />
“You already had a son,” she said. ” I liked knowing
Madison would have a brother. I also liked what you said about including
me. And the paper. I liked your paper. It was tasteful.” <br />
At the
first meeting at the restaurant, Jessica told us that she knew she would
want to be alone with Madison for the three days before she could
legally sign the surrender. We said we understood. But the morning that
Madison was born she called to say that she had changed her mind and
wanted us to come in. <br />
“I need to see you with her,” she said simply. <br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: xx-small;">- – - – - – - – - – - -</span><br />
Even
after we arrived home with Madison, I could not get Jessica’s tears out
of my mind. I felt numb. I didn’t know how to answer when people
congratulated us. They saw only the happy event, but each time Madison
cried I felt sure that every one of her ordinary infant sorrows was
magnified by the separation from her birth mother. This was not the
gauzy, soft-focus motherhood I had envisioned. <br />
Jessica was
everywhere because she was in my daughter. The shape of her brown eyes,
the curve of her face — they became mixed up in my mind. During every
diaper change I’d gaze at Madison’s small body and imagine how Jessica
must have looked at one week old. They mirrored each other; the
vulnerability of the mother who had given up her child and the child who
had lost her mother. <br />
“You need to move on,” friends said. “You
need to let Jessica move on. Quit taking her phone calls. Step up and be
Madison’s mother!” But no one could tell me how to be her mother when
she already had a mother. I could care for her — rock her, feed her, and
sing her to sleep — but something would not allow me to claim her. <br />
Was
it the phone calls? Jessica called about once a week to hear how
Madison was doing and to tell me what was going on in her life. I kept
my stories sweet and lively. She was working hard to put her life back
in order and was forthright with me about her struggles. She missed
Madison, she told me. The decision was the right one but oh, she missed
her. I welcomed our talks even as I shrank from them. I felt it was my
duty to hear her cry. It was the least I could do, I thought, because I
had her baby. My guilt was a necessary purgatory, an inadequate payment
for my privilege. <br />
Each time, I would hang up determined to
embrace Madison as my own. Jessica wanted me to be Madison’s mother,
didn’t she? She chose me. She signed the papers. She had released her to
me, and now I was failing her trust. <br />
So I went through the
motions. I sang to Madison so she would learn my voice. I strapped her
to me and walked in circles so she would learn the rhythm of my
movements. I hoped proximity would breed devotion. But I felt like a
liar when we went out and people said what a pretty baby I had. Not my
baby, I wanted to tell them, anxious not to take Jessica’s credit. <br />
“She
even looks like you!” some gushed. Of course this wasn’t true. Her
smooth coffee-with-cream skin is nothing like my own rosy complexion.
Such was their strong determination to fit her to our family. <br />
“She
looks just like her birth mother,” I’d reply. I wanted them to see
Jessica, to acknowledge her. I couldn’t stand to have her obliterated,
even in casual conversation. It was if they were trying to deny the
truth of Madison, the fact of who she was beyond being my adoptive
daughter. I didn’t want to pretend that she came to us without her own
history. But at the same time, polite society seemed to want to dismiss
her origins. Per United States law, Madison’s post-adoption birth
certificate even listed me as the woman who gave birth to her. <br />
The
next time Jessica called, I tentatively told her how I was feeling. “I
can’t stop thinking about you and how hard this must be,” I said, my
voice cracking. “I know how sad you are…” <br />
“I don’t want you to feel guilty,” Jessica admonished me. “I want you to love her. I need you to love her and be happy.” <br />
“But how can I be happy when you’re hurting so much?” I asked. <br />
“It’s
easier when I think of you cherishing her,” she said. “I need you to do
that for her and for me, too. I don’t regret this.” <br />
I wanted it
to make better sense. We didn’t find Madison languishing in a destitute
orphanage. She didn’t come to us with a history of abuse and neglect. I
didn’t know how to justify this great gift of her presence in our lives
at the expense of her mother. If there just something I could hang it
on, an obvious reason that Madison was better off with us — but there
wasn’t. There was just the word of her first mother who said, “This is
what I need to do.” <br />
In my lowest moments, I would browse the list
of adoptive parents on our agency’s Web site. One night, I happened
upon a profile of a fantastic family, African-American professionals who
ran a newspaper and had a daughter the same age as my son. They should
have gotten Madison, I thought. They were better educated than me, had
better jobs — and could give Madison the one thing I never could: a
connection to the black community. <br />
My friend Elisabeth, who used to do patient support at an abortion clinic, took me to task. <br />
“This
is a choice issue,” she told me. “You keep telling me how strong and
smart Jessica is, but you’re second-guessing her. That’s not fair.” <br />
“I just want us to both be winners in this,” I said. <br />
“There is more than one way to be a winner here,” she replied. “Stop denigrating Jessica’s decision.” <br />
I
had been picturing the two of us balanced on opposite sides of a
tipping scale. If one of us was the real mother, then the other one was
not. If one of us was happy, then the other must be sad. But when I hung
up with Elisabeth, I realized that I couldn’t ease Jessica’s struggle
by taking it on as my own. Besides that’s not what Jessica wanted; she
did not want her sorrow to color these first months of Madison’s life.
It was my guilt that betrayed her, not my love for Madison. <br />
When I
stopped feeling so consumed by what Jessica had lost, I was able to
find joy in what I gained, the everyday pleasures of parenting again —
dressing my daughter, giving her a bath. Certainly, with that joy came
vulnerability and the insecurity my worried friends predicted. Sometimes
I don’t want to share Madison. Sometimes I want to feel that I am the
only mother she has and will ever need. But even at it’s most
challenging, I still believe in openness. How much easier it will be for
our daughter, I think, to never have to search for her roots. She will
never have to wonder why her first mother chose adoption; she can ask
her. <br />
Jessica lives in our city and visits when her busy life
allows, which ends up being about once a month, and we e-mail and phone
more often. A few weeks ago she came over and made us jerk chicken with
mango salsa; she is studying to be a chef. We joked that now we know
where Madison gets her enthusiastic love of good food. After dinner I
shared the beginnings of this essay with her and we cried a bit
together. <br />
“I didn’t know it was so hard for you,” she said. <br />
“Well,” I shrugged, helplessly. “I didn’t know how to tell you.” <br />
Last
summer Jessica and I took a trip to Washington together so Madison
could meet her extended birth family. Jessica was hoping, in part, to
show them that it had all worked out OK and that her decision to place
Madison with us was a good one. As an interracial family already, the
transracial aspect did not grieve them; it was the loss of this wondrous
first grandchild to strangers. “When they see us together, how things
are, they’ll understand,” Jessica assured me. Still we were both
nervous. <br />
The family reunion took place at a country club on a
beautiful cool summer evening. It was amazing to meet people who looked
like Jessica and thus just like Madison, too. I kept my camera ready.
Madison, open and sunny, charmed everyone, and several people took me
aside to thank me for making the trip. “It’s my pleasure,” I said
honestly. <br />
“She looks like her mother,” said someone admiringly,
and I felt the discomfort the comment left in the room. “Yes, she does,”
I rushed to say. “She has Jessica’s beautiful smile.” And they were
generous with me, too. “Better ask your mommy,” said Jessica’s father
when Madison reached for another slice of cake. Then he handed her to me
although I know it pained him. <br />
When the party spilled outdoors,
Madison and Jessica wandered away to play in one of the sand traps on
the club’s golf course. I stood on the edge and snapped a series of
pictures — first Madison and Jessica crouching together to poke at the
sand. Then Madison with her head thrown back to look up at Jessica while
Jessica gazed down at her, smiling with great tenderness. Then a shot
of Madison laughing and running away. Running toward me. </div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-64772210245520611842012-07-18T15:40:00.003-04:002012-09-10T12:20:04.339-04:00New Staff at Choice Network!<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Arial;
panose-1:2 11 6 4 2 2 2 2 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536859905 -1073711037 9 0 511 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Lucida Grande";
panose-1:2 11 6 0 4 5 2 2 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-520090897 1342218751 0 0 447 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"ヒラギノ角ゴ Pro W3";
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 2059927551 18 0 131085 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Lucida Grande";
mso-fareast-font-family:"ヒラギノ角ゴ Pro W3";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Hello
Choice Network Family!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I am
excited to introduce myself, Katie Forbes as the new Adoption Advocate for
Choice Network. It has been my dream to work with this organization since
its inception two years ago. I am truly inspired by this
organization’s commitment to empowering women and helping them decide what path
is right for them- whether that be adoption, parenting, or termination. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I grew
up in the Cleveland suburb of Shaker Heights, Ohio. While I was growing
up my family was very active with the foster care community, taking in over 30
special needs children over 20 years, and adopting 3 of them.
Growing up in this community that was filled with different cultures and
backgrounds inspired me to study people from around the world. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I
received my bachelors’ degree in Anthropology and a minor in International
Relations and diplomacy from The Ohio State University. While completing
my degree I worked as an ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) Therapist with
children and teens diagnosed on the autism spectrum. I fell in love with
the work that I was doing with the special needs population, and when I moved
home to Cleveland post graduation I pursued work in the same field.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">My
pursuit led me to a position with a foster care agency in Cleveland working
with children in the system that had severe emotional and behavioral
barriers. Although aspects of this job were heartbreaking at times it
showed me how amazingly resilient children can be. Before
joining Choice Network I worked as a benefits specialist with the YWCA of
Columbus. The majority of this job was spent out in the community at
homeless shelters advocating for and assisting the disabled homeless
population. This is also where I had the privilege of meeting Molly Rampe and
Joni Ogle. After two years of working with the homeless population I
realized how much I missed working with foster care and adoption community, and
as luck had it, I was fortunate enough to find work with Choice Network.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I look
forward to assisting woman throughout their journey of giving the most amazing,
brave, and selfless gift for their child and themselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Sincerely,
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Katie </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Adoption
Advocate</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Choice
Network</span></div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-9874214660389410882012-05-31T15:23:00.000-04:002012-09-10T12:20:19.157-04:00Choice Network's BIG Update<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
What a crazy few weeks it’s been for Choice Network! Since the last post in February, we welcomed babies number 13, 14 and 15! On top of that, we attended the ACN conference and made some amazing new connections. We also received the HRC All Children-All Families Seal of Recognition for adoption agencies presented by their Family Project President, Ellen Kahn. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit6cVQblu_SbsrCoW9i8FV0syWKFr7ewIjpfi-qbVXAo9qc7bKS_zw4H6AjYkjHLuPPWCVSwkI8_lHJa6QxvP0C-LVX39857r4gjqAz15pJJh263WGimbX8gMzNorB0xzftZ2MdHAgAhR-/s1600/ACAF1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" rba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit6cVQblu_SbsrCoW9i8FV0syWKFr7ewIjpfi-qbVXAo9qc7bKS_zw4H6AjYkjHLuPPWCVSwkI8_lHJa6QxvP0C-LVX39857r4gjqAz15pJJh263WGimbX8gMzNorB0xzftZ2MdHAgAhR-/s320/ACAF1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: medium; font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: medium; font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
We cannot believe we received this award already! Four months ago it was only a faint dream, and we were told it has taken some agencies as long as two years to complete the process. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: medium; font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
To receive this award, HRC requires that you satisfactorily meet a minimum of ten “Benchmarks of Cultural Competency”. Some of these include:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: medium; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
-LGBT culturally competent client and employee non discrimination policies<br />
-LGBT cultural competence employee training <br />
-Holding professional partners to similar LGBT competence standards<br />
-Editing, creating, and utilizing culturally sensitive and inclusive language for forms, marketing materials, etc. <br />
-Creating and implementing LGBT specific family training.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
This was not the easiest process, especially for such a small agency like ours. We don’t have a lot of extra hands to help with all the changes, but we rallied together and powered through with a lot of help from HRC, The Downs Group, and community support. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: medium; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
As a staff we traveled to Michigan to engage in the HRC's approved LGBT Cultural Competence training. We learned so much and met many like-minded individuals eager to do similar work in their areas. We changed all of our documents and policies and had to have them approved; we edited our website, and even created new brochures. One of our brochures was even signed by popular comedian Ross Mathews who is a staple on both The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and E!’s Chelsea Lately! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_jSy2BT7EAlFDFTd4WmE_LtUlpJuea-jS8r8wvsB1V4MxFQw_esDODf2VqwOwk-tapdZZofDuzS45si2o-ptixd9uXTAoo5JecNyyUhGyvhQ7xrF-gvf5RVcD0Zz2etBkJNdt-_iFUa_/s1600/ROSS2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" rba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_jSy2BT7EAlFDFTd4WmE_LtUlpJuea-jS8r8wvsB1V4MxFQw_esDODf2VqwOwk-tapdZZofDuzS45si2o-ptixd9uXTAoo5JecNyyUhGyvhQ7xrF-gvf5RVcD0Zz2etBkJNdt-_iFUa_/s320/ROSS2.jpg" width="201" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
We also created a new training specifically to help LGBT families while they are on their unique adoption journey. This included a lot of help from the community including legal experts, LGBT marriage and family counselors, and advocates. We also had the privilege of placing with our first lesbian family. They are an amazing couple and fantastic parents- we are so happy for them!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
Toward the end, everything happened so fast- we submitted our official completion document on Monday and by Thursday we were receiving the Seal of Recognition from the HRC Family Project President! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
That alone was an amazing experience: joined by our colleagues, partners, friends and our first LGBT family, Ellen Kahn talked with us to hear our story, praised us for our work, and presented us with the Seal! She was fantastic and we felt so honored to have her take the time to meet and recognize us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
It was a whirlwind experience- we accomplished more then we had hoped in such a short amount of time and now we are excited about what is next for Choice Network! This summer we are looking forward to sharing our exciting news at Pride and in the fall we are honored to participate in a multidisciplinary LGBT family creation seminar! <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4963871715365123593&pli=1" name="_GoBack"></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
Stay tuned, seems like there’s no stopping us now! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16pt; margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
Love,<br />
Your Choice Network family </div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-43771012112275091302012-02-29T15:36:00.000-05:002012-09-10T12:20:54.209-04:00What does a "good" family look like?<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267"> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style> <![endi--><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Hey guys- Samantha here again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
In writing the previous post about open adoption, it really made me wonder: what does a ‘good’ family look like? Open adoption families have <b>many </b>different faces, and even for biological families it’s obviously no longer the 50’s vision of the ‘American Family’. Dads don’t always go to work all day, moms don’t always stay home, children don’t always come from their mother's bellies, parents don’t always stay married (or ever get married), families come in many different race and ethnicity combinations, there can be blended and step families and some children even have two mommies or two daddies. All of those possible kinds of families have what it takes to be a <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">great</b> family for a child in need of a home. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I was raised by a lesbian woman so I- of course- feel strongly about the parenting abilities of LGBT individuals and couples. </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">However, when I got to thinking about families, I wanted to do some more research on the topic of LGBT parenting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In Ohio there are about 18,100 same-sex households (this is an approximate 250% growth from 2006). </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Even more specifically, there are </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">approximately 8,610 sam</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">e-sex households in Columbus alone</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">. That means almost 50% of the entire same-sex population in Ohio resides in Columbus. </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In 2010 the American Community Survey reported that there were almost 600,000 same sex households in the United States, yet <b>only </b>about 17% reported having children in th</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">eir home as opposed to about</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> 45% of married and unmarried heterosexual households</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">.</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">That results in a <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">28%</b> difference between the two communities</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> and here at Choice Network we would <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">love</b> to be a part of equaling those numbers out. </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #f79646;">In 2010, the United States had over 100,000 children still waiting for adoption. Of those 100,000, 60%- or 60,000- have already had their biological parents rights terminated. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Over the past decade or so research has <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">repeatedly</b> concluded that children raised by gay or lesbian individuals and/or couples are <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">equal</b> to children who are raised by one or more heterosexual parents in <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">emotional</b>, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">cognitive</b> and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">social</b> development. They most certainly fare better than the more than 100,000 children left <b><span style="color: #f79646; mso-themecolor: accent6;">waiting</span> </b>for a home every year within the foster care system</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>R</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">esearch has found there are </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">no</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> significant differences between heterosexual and homosexual parents in their </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">parenting <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">abilities</b></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">, parenting <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">attitudes</b> or <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">emotional stability</b>. </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Choice Network’s <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">only</b> </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">priority </span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">is</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> creating happy</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">,</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> healthy</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">, stable and permanent families; and we are looking forward to working with more LGBT clients because <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">two dads (or moms) are always better than none.</b> :)</span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Sources</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Administration for Children and Families (June 2011). </span><a href="http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/statistics/adoptfs_tbl8_2010.pdf"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/statistics/adoptfs_tbl8_2010.pdf</span></a><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The AFCARS Report. (January 2011). </span><a href="http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/tar/report18.htm"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/tar/report18.htm</span></a><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Center for American Progress, Family Equality Council, & Movement Advancement Project (October 2011).<br />
</span><a href="http://lgbtmap.org/file/all-children-matter-full-report.pdf"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">http://lgbtmap.org/file/all-children-matter-full-report.pdf</span></a><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute (2006). </span><a href="http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2006_Expanding_Resources_for_Children%20_March_.pdf"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2006_Expanding_Resources_for_Children%20_March_.pdf</span></a><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Same-Sex Couples and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Population: New Estimates from the American Community Survey. (October 2006) </span><a href="http://escholarship.org/uc/item/8h08t0zf"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">http://escholarship.org/uc/item/8h08t0zf</span></a><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Same-Sex Couple Households (September 2011)</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/acsbr10-03.pdf" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/acsbr10-03.pdf</span></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-60629363776998484092012-01-26T10:13:00.000-05:002012-09-10T12:10:48.786-04:00Adoption Myths in the Media<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Hi all, my name is Samantha and I am one of the new interns here at Choice</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Network. My experience thus far has been so incredible and eye opening. Yet the</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
more experiences I gain with this amazing organization (and the amazing</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
people we have the privilege of working with), the more I am puzzled by where my</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
previous beliefs and stereotypes about the world of adoption originated. Then it</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
struck me: a lot of my previous assumptions were likely strongly influenced by</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
the media. Lately there have been a lot of popular TV shows with adoption plots,</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
including:<i> Glee, Parenthood, Private Practice, Once Upon a Time</i> and <i>Modern Family,</i></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
as well as “reality” shows like<i> 16 and Pregnant</i>. Five of the six shows (83.3%)</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
mentioned have had a story line where the birth mother changes her mind to choose</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
either a different family or to choose parenting. In the experience of our agency so</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
far, only 8.3% of our birth moms have ever made that choice.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<i>Once Upon a Time</i> has been scrutinized for perpetuating many negative assumptions</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
about adoption, including presenting the birth and adoptive mothers as opposing</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
and even quite confrontational entities. The show puts the relationships between</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
the child and his two respective parents as mutually exclusive threats to each</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
other and encourages him to promote secrecy and lying. Additionally the show is</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
notorious for its use of negative adoption language, using phrases such as “threw</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
him out” and “unfit mother” rather then embracing the reality that adoption is a</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
thoughtful, loving, difficult choice that for many women, especially those choosing</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
open adoption, encompasses a lifelong and ever changing journey of creating and</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
maintaining balanced, harmonious relationships.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<i>Glee</i> also came under fire for one of their adoption story lines, so much so that</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
FOX TV was presented with a petition of over 2,500 signatures asking for public</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
service announcements to be aired speaking about the ‘reality of adoption’. In the</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
story line, a young birth mother changes her mind months after her adoption has</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
been completed and is portrayed as trying to sabotage the adoptive mother- going</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
so far as to plant fake evidence in her home and report her to children’s services.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Petitioners were most concerned that though this storyline is obviously dramatic and an</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
unrealistic situation it still promotes the ideas that adoption is temporary and that a</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
birth mother could potentially take the child ‘back’ when these are not true realities.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
The most striking thing to me about all of these shows? There is never a</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
mention of choice counseling, grief counseling, or of matching. All of these elements</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
are crucial to the adoption process for everyone involved, and are processes that this agency makes great efforts to perfect, provide, and improve upon at every need and opportunity.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
Though adoption is an intricate and multifaceted journey it is my new experience</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
and perspective that open adoption is a wonderful, beneficial, and beautiful choice. I am so happy to be a part of this team and I am looking forward to sharing more of my knowledge and experiences with others.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-Samantha</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Sources:</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-http://yourlife.usatoday.com/parenting-family/adoption/story/2011-10-30/Foxs-</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Glee-has-harmful-adoption-story-petition-says/51004490/1</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/11/29/discourses-on-adoption-on-</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
once-upon-a-time/</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-35474778078018717802011-10-26T13:38:00.001-04:002012-09-10T12:23:06.134-04:00Secrecy Around Unplanned Pregnancy<div style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<a href="http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20539139_20776953,00.html#21069607">So we all hear so much about Hollywood's Adoptive Families</a></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
But what about the birthmoms who made their families possible?! In today's society, women face so much stigma over their reproductive choices. I was recently at a hair appointment, and my stylist said when she announced her pregnancy to her clients many asked her quite frankly whether she was considering adoption or abortion due to her young (25!) age and unwed status.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Working in social services, it is apparent that whether women choose adoption, abortion or parenting they are liable to be stigmatized. Planned Parenthood has reported recently that one in four women will have an abortion by the time they reach thirty. Yet, no one discusses the prevalence of this issue in society. Similarly, why is it so prominent and positive to be an adoptive family, but still so secretive and scary to be a birth family?</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Making an adoption, abortion or parenting plan today more than ever before is about researching all options and making a plan. In the case of adoption, the birth families we work with interview their adoption agencies and adoptive families, research the level of openness they want in their adoption plan and place their child in a situation that meets or exceeds their expectations out of love for their child. Birth families should be given the respect they are due for making the hardest parenting decision any family could make, yet instead they are marginalized by society and taught to be ashamed of their selfless decision. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Do you know a woman who faced an unintended pregnancy? What were some reactions or stigmas you associated with her decision? If women felt less stigma discussing an unplanned pregnancy, maybe we would have no need for safe haven laws, or women forced into a decision they weren't ready for based on social standards and expectations.</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-75180067040192296372011-09-26T17:19:00.002-04:002012-09-10T12:11:11.858-04:00Another 16 and Pregnant Star Loses their Child<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/couple-featured-in-mtvs-16-and-pregnant-lose-baby-to-state-after-drug-arrests-in-arkansas/2011/09/22/gIQARn1eoK_story.html">The scary side of MTV's 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom</a></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Our social workers at Choice Network have had alternating moments of love and hate towards the ultra popular MTV shows <i>Teen Mom</i> and <i>16 and Pregnant</i>. On the one hand, any shows about unplanned pregnancy raise awareness about the issue. On the other hand, because of the glamor and appeal that surrounds the popular network station, many teenagers have a very unrealistic view of pregnancy and parenting. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
In a 2010 court report, Amber Portwood, one of the stars of <i>Teen Mom</i>, revealed that she makes $280,000 per year from the show. While the show does not characterize her as wealthy, it is apparent she does not need to rely on employment, budgeting, or social services as the majority of teenagers in similar situations must. All of the Teen Moms are shown purchasing new cars, renting beautiful apartments, traveling and getting cosmetic surgery.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
What is the reality about teen moms? According to stayteen.org:</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-Only one-third of adolescent mothers will graduate high school, and only slightly over 1 percent of those will earn a college degree before they turn 30.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-Two-thirds of families begun by a young unmarried mother are poor. More than half of all mothers on welfare had their first child as a teenager.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-Daughters of teen moms are three times more likely to become teenage mothers themselves. The sons of teen moms are two times more likely to end up in prison.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-Eight out of ten fathers in cases of teen pregnancy don't marry the mother of their child, and these absent fathers pay less than $800 annually for child support.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
-Children who live apart from their fathers are also five times more likely to be poverty striken than children with both parents at home. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The real teen moms of the world are less glamorous than MTV would have you believe</span>.</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-33010348305348518982011-09-26T16:55:00.003-04:002012-09-10T12:23:27.181-04:00Interview with a Birthmom<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.” Ancient Chinese Proverb</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;"> A lot of times when adoptive families first begin to think about adoption they wonder: who is a typical birth parent? What does a birth mother look like? Is she typically Caucasian, African American, Hispanic? Is she typically young or old? Is she typically religious or not? </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">The truth to this question is that we do not know. While there is plenty of data surrounding women who choose abortion and women who parent, women who select adoption are harder to characterize. Because of the variety of adoption plans in the United States (attorney versus agency, facilitator versus state) it is nearly impossible to have a complete statistic on those most likely to become birth parents. We have some educated guesses about these women though. 91% of the women Choice Network worked with in the past had aspirations to complete an educational or professional goal at the time they placed their child. 100% felt choosing to place their child was done for the benefit of the child. 53% were already parenting other children. 87% had completed some college at the time they placed their child. On average a Choice Network woman is 24 years old. </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">To get a closer look at a birth mother, we asked some of our clients if they would feel comfortable giving an interview about themselves and their adoption journey. Several were open to this and willing to share their thoughts and feelings on the subject. One client, currently a mother of two, gave us the following interview: </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: How did you find Choice Network? </span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">I got a UTI and went to the hospital. During the exam, the nurse asked me if I knew I was pregnant. I guess she ran a routine test. I thought she was lying and said "no way." After that I called the clinic.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: And by the clinic you mean an abortion clinic?</span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">Yes.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: How far were you in your pregnancy at that time?</span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">Well when they did the ultrasound I found out I was almost 20 weeks. I could have done the procedure, but not being that far. My family was already disappointed when I told them I was going to have an abortion, but I didn't care. I knew I couldn't have another child in my house. I had too much on my plate already. I thought, this person inside of me is...almost grown. I didn't know if I could have the abortion.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: So what made you think adoption was a good option?</span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">When I couldn't do the abortion I thought about my little cousin who was adopted. I know she brought my aunt and uncle a lot of joy. I decided I would have to put this child's feelings in front of mine.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: When did you choose your adoptive family?</span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">It was right around Christmas. I saw a few books and picked this family. They had two adopted children already, so I knew when the time came to discuss adoption my child wouldn't feel left out. I really connected with Brandon <i>(adopted father). </i>I loved Trina too, but when we met, Brandon and I could talk about everything together. It was just easy. I knew they were the right family for this child... After I met them, I just started to feel like I was doing the right thing for them- carrying this child so they could have the family they wanted. </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: What was the hardest part of the adoption journey?</span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">Telling my mom. Without a doubt. I sometimes wish I could go back and not have told her. She only put her feelings before mine. She nagged me all the time that adoption was the wrong decision. She was just being a brat. She wanted to take the baby and raise her. She wasn't thinking about my feelings, only her own. </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: How is your relationship with your mom today? </span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">I think it's better. She told me the other day that she was proud of me and I was shocked! I think because she got to meet the family and the child that she finally realized I did the right thing. I did the right thing for my children and myself. </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">CN: What advice would you give another woman in a similar situation regarding abortion, adoption or parenting?</span></b></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}" style="font-size: small;">I can't really give advice except do what you want to do. Don't listen to advice or opinions of other people or else you are going to feel regret. It's important to make your own decision.</span></h6>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-54481362122149315872011-09-21T17:45:00.002-04:002012-09-10T12:23:46.125-04:00The Future of Open Adoption<div style="font-family: inherit;">
The future of true open adoption, check out this Daily Show special interview:</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<a href="http://cnettv.cnet.com/adoption-advice/9742-1_53-50029876.html">Open adoption benefits families and children</a></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
"There was joy in the fact that I knew this child was going to know me and also that she had an absolutely wonderful family."</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4963871715365123593.post-22013173131223891462011-09-21T16:16:00.001-04:002012-09-10T12:23:54.987-04:00Top 5 Things You Should Ask Your Adoption Professional<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
As an agency that works with women choosing adoption, abortion and parenting, our social workers often come in contact with women who have previously chosen each of the above options. Using their feedback we compiled a list of great questions to ask your adoption professional if you are a birth parent considering creating an adoption plan. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
5. <u><b>What Makes you an Adoption Expert?</b></u> This seems like a no brainer- however, with the ever evolving climate around social services it is always important to ask your social service worker what their background and skill set is. We often see in the adoption world that when a woman announces she is pregnant and considering adoption, she can be swarmed by well intended family members and friends who know a friend, who knows an attorney, who knows a social worker who knows a couple from church, who has considered adoption. This networking was an awesome way in previous decades to make a match between a birth parent and an adoptive family. Today, however, we have much more sophisticated methods for finding the perfect match.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Just last year, we had a client come to Choice Network. She stated she was considering adoption but wanted "truly awesome" prospective adoptive family. She wanted her child to be bilingual and she wanted nothing short of "two astronauts." We matched her and her infant with an adoption family that had two bilingual NASA engineers. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Today, the birth family has a right and obligation to find the perfect adoptive family for their children. As a birth parent, you have the right to request face to face interviews, references, and profiles on the families you are selecting from.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
If you have a right to ask this of your adoptive applicants, you have the same right to ask this of your Adoption Professional. Some great questions to ask: What licensure do you hold? What brought you to adoption work? How many years have you worked in this field? And most importantly...What makes you an adoption expert?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
4. <u><b>What kind of Adoption Plans Does Your Agency Facilitate</b></u>? In the United States, there are three recognized forms of adoption. Open Adoption, Semi-Open Adoption and Closed Adoption. Open Adoption is everything from in person visits between the birth family and adoptive family to the exchange of photos, letters, cards and names. In an open adoption the birth parents (with the help of a social worker) usually selects and interviews the adoptive family. Sometimes the adoptive and birth families decide on a name for the child together, share an e-mail account to facilitate picture shares and maintain a connection sometimes beyond or outside of the facilitation done by an attorney or adoption agency. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Semi Open Adoption involves sharing first names, medical histories and other very limited but pertinent information. This information share can be similar to an open adoption in that you are sharing cards, letters and photos- but is limited to non identifying information. Usually a social worker or attorney will facilitate the exchange of the information to maintain the confidentiality on both the side of the adoptive family and the birth family. Semi Open Adoption is a great option for birth families who want to remain in control of their own privacy during the process, but still want to remain informed on how the child is progressing and blossoming in the care of their adoptive family.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Meanwhile Closed Adoption would be an adoption professional, such as an attorney, securing the match without ever having any information shared between parties. The birth family would not select the family, and the adoptive family would have no information on the birth family as well.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
At Choice Network, we only operate Open and Semi Open adoptions. We feel that when you look at adoption as a lifelong process, and not a singular act, only the above two facilitation processes allow for healing. A birth family may feel today that they don't need to know about the child, but the wonderful aspect of open adoption and semi open adoption is that if they decide they want a more open relationship in five years, the pictures, letters and updates will be waiting and available for them through the agency.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Conversely, when you look at the life of a child, the three most prevalent questions adoptive children have surrounding their adoptions are: 1) Why did my birth family choose adoption for me?, 2) Is my birth family ok today?, and 3) What do my birth parents look like? All of these questions can be answered in the most truthful and respectful way with Open and Semi Open adoptions.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
If your agency or attorney operates all three or only one or two, ask them why they made this decision and what adoption plan they feel would be best for you considering your expectations of the adoption process.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
3.<u> </u><b><u>Can I Speak With a Former Birth Parent Who Used Your Services?</u> </b>Remember when you first met your favorite teacher or coach and you wanted to tell everyone about them? Remember the first session you had with an excellent therapist who really "got you?" We've found adoption services are no different. If you've had a supportive adoption social worker, many times you will be happy to advocate, volunteer and give support back to the agency. Your adoption worker should have several birth parent references and should be able to link you with a former client that can give you an honest assessment of their interactions with the agency or attorney.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
2. <b><u>What Happens After I Place with Your Agency?</u> </b>This is one of the most important questions you can ask your agency or attorney. The biggest emotional let down a birth family can receive is believing their attorney or adoption advocate will provide ongoing services, only to find this to be untrue. Ask your adoption professional: what support will you give me one week after I place my infant, one month after I place my infant and five years after I place my infant with your agency? Can I call or email whenever I need updates? What kind of aftercare or support have you provided your birth families in the past? Their answers may surprise you or put you at ease in deciding to work with them.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
1. <b><u>What Kind of Training do You Give Your Adoptive Families?</u> </b>This is an excellent question to ask your adoption professional. Working in adoptions, we believe two things determine whether an adoption agency is excellent or mediocre. One is how much support they provide their birth families. The other is how much education and support they offer their adoptive families.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Many large, national adoption agencies work with hundreds of couples at a time. Families are assigned individual reading assignments, or asked to fill out independent questionnaires to comprise their adoption knowledge to pass state training requirements. The focus of these agencies is less on making the adoptive applicants completely ready- mind, body and soul, to expand their family- but more or less to get through the bureaucracy to the placement.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Choice Network is completely different. Our families go through a boot camp training process in which we hold their hands through completing the initial application, to the home study, to the post placement visits. Through out this all we provide one on one training and counseling on cultural diversity, adoption related issues, separation and loss and other key topics. We work intensively with our families through therapy, counseling, training and education to ensure we know our adoptive families inside and out. We can therefore be confident that each profile we present to our birth parents is screened to be exactly what our birth family is looking for. We have 100% confidence that each family we work with is completely ready to bring a new child into their family. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Now that we've posted our list of suggestions, if you're a birth family, adoption expert or adoptive family, what are some you may have?</div>
Choice Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489150644355497902noreply@blogger.com0