But what about the birthmoms who made their families possible?! In today's society, women face so much stigma over their reproductive choices. I was recently at a hair appointment, and my stylist said when she announced her pregnancy to her clients many asked her quite frankly whether she was considering adoption or abortion due to her young (25!) age and unwed status.
Working in social services, it is apparent that whether women choose adoption, abortion or parenting they are liable to be stigmatized. Planned Parenthood has reported recently that one in four women will have an abortion by the time they reach thirty. Yet, no one discusses the prevalence of this issue in society. Similarly, why is it so prominent and positive to be an adoptive family, but still so secretive and scary to be a birth family?
Making an adoption, abortion or parenting plan today more than ever before is about researching all options and making a plan. In the case of adoption, the birth families we work with interview their adoption agencies and adoptive families, research the level of openness they want in their adoption plan and place their child in a situation that meets or exceeds their expectations out of love for their child. Birth families should be given the respect they are due for making the hardest parenting decision any family could make, yet instead they are marginalized by society and taught to be ashamed of their selfless decision.
Do you know a woman who faced an unintended pregnancy? What were some reactions or stigmas you associated with her decision? If women felt less stigma discussing an unplanned pregnancy, maybe we would have no need for safe haven laws, or women forced into a decision they weren't ready for based on social standards and expectations.
