Hi all, my name is Samantha and I am one of the new interns here at Choice
Network. My experience thus far has been so incredible and eye opening. Yet the
more experiences I gain with this amazing organization (and the amazing
people we have the privilege of working with), the more I am puzzled by where my
previous beliefs and stereotypes about the world of adoption originated. Then it
struck me: a lot of my previous assumptions were likely strongly influenced by
the media. Lately there have been a lot of popular TV shows with adoption plots,
including: Glee, Parenthood, Private Practice, Once Upon a Time and Modern Family,
as well as “reality” shows like 16 and Pregnant. Five of the six shows (83.3%)
mentioned have had a story line where the birth mother changes her mind to choose
either a different family or to choose parenting. In the experience of our agency so
far, only 8.3% of our birth moms have ever made that choice.
Once Upon a Time has been scrutinized for perpetuating many negative assumptions
about adoption, including presenting the birth and adoptive mothers as opposing
and even quite confrontational entities. The show puts the relationships between
the child and his two respective parents as mutually exclusive threats to each
other and encourages him to promote secrecy and lying. Additionally the show is
notorious for its use of negative adoption language, using phrases such as “threw
him out” and “unfit mother” rather then embracing the reality that adoption is a
thoughtful, loving, difficult choice that for many women, especially those choosing
open adoption, encompasses a lifelong and ever changing journey of creating and
maintaining balanced, harmonious relationships.
Glee also came under fire for one of their adoption story lines, so much so that
FOX TV was presented with a petition of over 2,500 signatures asking for public
service announcements to be aired speaking about the ‘reality of adoption’. In the
story line, a young birth mother changes her mind months after her adoption has
been completed and is portrayed as trying to sabotage the adoptive mother- going
so far as to plant fake evidence in her home and report her to children’s services.
Petitioners were most concerned that though this storyline is obviously dramatic and an
unrealistic situation it still promotes the ideas that adoption is temporary and that a
birth mother could potentially take the child ‘back’ when these are not true realities.
The most striking thing to me about all of these shows? There is never a
mention of choice counseling, grief counseling, or of matching. All of these elements
are crucial to the adoption process for everyone involved, and are processes that this agency makes great efforts to perfect, provide, and improve upon at every need and opportunity.
Though adoption is an intricate and multifaceted journey it is my new experience
and perspective that open adoption is a wonderful, beneficial, and beautiful choice. I am so happy to be a part of this team and I am looking forward to sharing more of my knowledge and experiences with others.
-Samantha
Sources:
-http://yourlife.usatoday.com/parenting-family/adoption/story/2011-10-30/Foxs-
Glee-has-harmful-adoption-story-petition-says/51004490/1
-http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/11/29/discourses-on-adoption-on-
once-upon-a-time/
